One of the great benefits of having two girls, besides the promise of a lifetime of scrapbooking partners, is that we get a little more use out of cute outfits that otherwise would be outgrown and cast aside in a matter of months. When Belly’s pants or dresses start to look snug, I just clear out her closet and go looking for the box of Miss D.’s barely worn things in the appropriate size. This is certainly easier than having to buy a new wardrobe every six months, but the deja vu can get unsettling.
Today, Belly had on an old favorite, a dress Miss D. had worn often during the one season it fit her.
I sat behind Belly in the playroom this evening, watching her take wooden rings off a peg, line them up, put them back on the peg, then do it all over again. I didn’t think about her dress until she was almost bored with this activity, but then I took in the polka dots on purple background, her hair just beginning to curl over the pink turtleneck, and I could see Miss D. at this age so vividly. When Belly looked up, I caught my breath.
For a moment, I really had expected to see an 18-month-old Miss D. turning around to look at me. And while I would never be disappointed to see Belly’s smile, I realized I was sad that I will never get Miss D. at that age again. She is a fabulous pre-schooler, but things were certainly simpler when Miss D. was a toddler. I didn’t need to negotiate with her back then to the extent I do now. Miss D., now three-and-a-half, has the vocabulary required to draw out the simplest matter into a lengthy and often heated discussion.
Belly stood up and walked away from me in her purple, polka-dotted dress. I watched her go and thought about Miss D., who still has some of the same expressions she did as a toddler, but who is growing and changing every day, always moving forward, away from the time when she was still more baby than girl.
At bedtime, I held Belly until she was almost asleep. I don’t do that much anymore, but this evening, it seemed important to hang onto her as long as I could.
Miss D., 2007
Belly, tonight
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I can’t believe how much they look alike.
I know what you mean about wanting to hold on for a little longer. I love Jonathan at 3….but miss those days when he was tiny and small. I’m so glad he still lets me cuddle him!
He is starting to get more and more mouthy…*sigh* but we’ll deal with that as it comes!
Wow – that is deja vu! I get all emotional when I look at pics of my son as a little guy (my little shmunchkin, as I called him), and realize I’ll never see him like that again! And then I try to make myself feel better by thinking about all this is still to come!
***Ally
Oh, I know! The time just flies. It seems like yesterday my sweet little girl was spinning in her “twirly dresses.” Now she’s 17. Where DID the time go?
oh, you’re making me sad again!
Wow…your daughters look just alike. For a second I thought they were the same person. Time really does fly. I hope that doesn’t happen with my daughter. I need to take in everything.
That was so beautiful. I feel the same way with the boys. Whenever Sean wears something of Evan’s (which is like everything), I remember what Evan was doing at that age.